Blooming June 11, 2008

BLOOMING. That’s the only word that could express my feeling now. I myself don’t really understand what is it that I’m feeling at this moment, but one thing for sure is I will smile whenever that particular person comes across my mind. It has been so long since I last felt this kinda feeling, coz it’s like a feeling that I’ve forgotten how it felt like. Maybe, this is a feeling of falling in love. I knew it coz I used to fall in love before this, but this time, the feeling is really weird. How could I feel a kind of deep connection with someone that I just call a friend, and I regard as a best friend. But I believe in miracle, it does happen. But this time, I’m gonna be more careful, coz I just don’t wanna repeat my previous mistakes, AGAIN. But, deep in my heart, I hope, dis time it’s gonna work, and I wish that, this particular person will be the last one in my life. And at the moment, it’s undeniable that I could think of no one else but him. Do you feel the same as I do, Mr. I…? :p I thought the day will always be dark, but you simply came and shone the sanshine ! Here is a song, just for you,

Siti Nurhaliza - Cintamu

Ku jadikan lagu
Walau tidak seindah
Bisik kata yang kau beri

 Tetap dalam hati
Siang malam menanti
Tak jemu aku dibuai kerinduan

Belum pernah ada getaran sebegini
Memang benar aku dilanda cinta kepadamu

Bercahaya hidupku dalam taman cinta
Sehingga segalanya seperti pelangi
Kau sambutlah rinduku jangan lepas lagi
Ku patri setia seteguh kasihmu buatku

Kini kutemui insan ku sayangi
Sentiasa disisi bagai bintang yang berseri

Satu jawapan engkau berikan
Bisa ku rasa segala rahsia asmara
Kau pesona cinta yang membawa bahagia

Me? Teaching Form 3 students? lol May 20, 2008

Hahahha… The title itself is clear enuff.. Actually, what happened was, my mom’s friend who was supposed to teach an English tuition class during last weekend had an urgent matter to settle in Kelantan, so she had to be away. She called and asked me to do her a favor to replace her teaching an English tuition class at Spektra Bestari Tuition Centre, and that class actually consists of 25 Form 3 students..! OMG, I was blank, I really didn’t know what to do.. You see, I wanted to help her out because she was desperately needing someone to replace her, but then I was very unconfident with myself whether I could teach those PMR candidates or not.. I started imagining how the class is gonna look like, I imagined that I’m standing in front of the whole class with a frown look and talking alone to myself with those students sleep and chat at the back, paying no heeds to whatever I’m mumbling in front.. Hahhaha !

But at last, I took that as a challenge coz I myself wanted to know whether I’m capable of handling a class of 25 PMR candidates who are from various backgrounds as well as various schools, including SMK Convent, SMK Dato’ Burhanuddin, Treacher’s Methodist Girls’ School, SMK Kg. Jambu, SMK King Edward VII and so on. Waaa… I was really anxious while waiting for the day.. Huhu~ And plus, the class is actually a 2-hour-class, and I really don’t know what I’m gonna mumble within that period of time.. OMG

Well, the day came, and I walked into the class.. At first, they stared eccentrically at me, but I just tried to make myself comfortable in dat class.. I started the lesson by introducing myself and taking their attendance, and later on I started teaching them Grammar lesson which was ‘Gerund’.. At first, I was quite serious while teaching them, but later on I got the courage to start making jokes with them.. And I noticed that the students became more comfortable and participated actively in my class when I myself started to laugh together with them and treated them like my bros and sis. Then only I learnt that, with students who are at that age level, we cannot be so strict and stringent, nevertheless we must become at par with their level of thinking and behave slightly like them so that they will become more free to speak up their mind. Later on I moved to another lesson, til I became unconscious that the time was up. One thing that made me smiled was, there was one boy who raised his hand up and asked me (actually in BM), “Teacher, how long are you gonna teach us?” I answered, “Owh, only today and tomorrow”. “Ala…Teacher, why don’t you just take over this class? This boy likes you! Hehe. And we like it when you teach us coz it’s easy for us to understand,” he replied while pointing at a boy next to him. I was soo00o flattered and I didn’t expect that I would receive such feedback on the very first day I teach them

On the second day, I taught them Comprehension as well as the poem “Lake Isle of Innisfree” and a short story “How Dalat Got Its Name”. All that I can say is just that, I started to love dat class, and even if I were given the chance to continue teaching them I would definitely accept it with pleasure. In the class, there are Malay, Chinese and even Indian, and some of them are quite weak in English. I tried another approach by teaching them one by one, so that i could assure whether they really understand what I’ m teaching them or not.. And from my view, I think that most students in the class are very good when it comes to comprehension, understanding short story as well as poem, but they are quite poor in Grammar. Well, I really wish that I could help them out more with their Grammar, but I only had 2 days and within that particular time, I only had the time to teach them Gerund, Modals, and Past Pefect Tense.

This is totally a new experience for me and I really appreciate the opportunity given. Spending my 4 hours with those nice and great students , remarkably, really left a mark in my heart, and I wish someday I could see them again, this time as a trained teacher who is determined to serve the nation. Hahhaha~ :p

Indecisiveness April 29, 2008

Have you ever encountered a feeling of indecisiveness in which you are torn apart between those choices right in front of your eyes? Well, I do. I always do. Even at the moment I couldn’t decide on some huge options that could change my life 360 degrees. I’m blank. I really don’t have any ideas on what should I do. Those days, my mom was always there whenever I needed her especially when it comes to decision-making. But I’m not saying that my mom is no longer besides me, but the thing is I think it’s not appropriate to let my mom decide on the matters I’m currently facing coz I feel… hahaha ashamed :p .

Thus.. The only person left to help me out on deciding is just me myself.. You see, I do realize that I’m suck in decision-making. I always made decisions that I myself would later on regret. Huh, silly me.. As for now, I’m obviously regretting on a decision that I made for like 2 months ago. And even by today, by hook or by crook I have to decide on something that has to do with someone’s life, as well as mine. I always pray in that Allah will always guide me in every single thing that I do, as well as making the best decision that I won’t regret.

Pulangkan (EX-STUDENT feat PTPTN) April 24, 2008

While I was browsing a web portal, I found something dat made me really laughed my lungs out.. Hahhahha. But it’s really something. It’s like a reminder to all PTPTN loanee as well Check it out!

(Ex-Student)
Sedikit bunga yang menggoda
Sekadar dipandang usah dibayar
Kau pasti tak percaya
Duitku bukan untukmu sayang

(Pegawai PTPTN)
Tiada kusangka kau sungguh kejam
Kau peramkan hutang yang kau pinjam
Namun takkan bahgia kehidupanmu
Bila engkau berkonvo
Kau milikku

Pulangkan hutang-hutangku-(Pegawai PTPTN)

Oh hentikanlah menghantuiku-(Ex-Student)

Oh pulangkan oh pulangkanlah padaku-(Pegawai PTPTN)

Kupulangkan semua hutangku-(Ex-Student)

Yang dikau peram tanpa relaku-(Pegawai PTPTN)

Bebaskanlah maafkan daku oh kasih-(Ex-Student)

(Pegawai PTPTN)
Tiada kemaafan di sini
Kau hutang tanpa bayar sesen lagi
Akan kujejakimu ke mana jua
Hingga akhir masa
heeeee…

Well, loan is still a loan, and it is a must to pay back the money, there’s no other option dude! Don’t simply procrastinate paying it, if possible when you start working, make an effort to start paying it right after you receive your first month wage! ;p lol

Minor in Music Audition April 22, 2008

Hmm.. Today is my very first day of final and thanx God that CTU is done!! Well, 5 more papers to go…. =_= Anyway, starting from next semester onwards, we have to take our minor courses in which we can choose either we wanna minor in Literature, Councelling or Music.. As for myself, to be frank I dislike both Literature and Councelling!! I’m not dat go0d in memorizing, but then I gez I won’t really mind memorizing things dat I like.. ;p heee~ And for Literature, obviously I’m not a creative thinker.. Hahha~ And Music is the only last hope for me.. But to minor in Music, we have to go through an audition first before we could actually be accepted into the course.. Yesterday, me n my buddies went for an audition with the Head of Programme, Dr. Ghaziah.. We set up an appointment with her and during the audition, I was the lucky number one! Hahha~ She did test our pitching, rhythm as well as singing.. That’s simply an experience for me ;p Finally, 3 of us are succeed to be admitted into Minor in Music.. `In, Ija and myself.. Haha~ I’ve went through the course description and Dr. Ghaziah also gave us a brief explanation about the course and it sounds so interesting!! And the most important thing is I’ll have the chance to learn vocal techniques subjects that comprise of singing, and I can also learn to play instruments! Weeee~ I’m so0 exciteddd.. I really2 wanna learn playing guitar, piano as well as drum.. And I will have d opportunity to learn `em besides learning vocal.. Anyway, I know it’s gonna be hard and tough, but I will try my best to catch up with d lessons as ppl sed that minoring in Music is gonna make my life more hectic than it used to be. But I guess it will be more on practical than the theory itself.. Whatever it is, I am simply thankful and grateful that I’ll do something that really interest me starting from next sem onwards, something that I’ve always longed for. Caiy0k2…..!! ;p

Things `Bout This Semester.. April 16, 2008

It has really been quite a long time since I last posted something in dis blog.. Last week was the most hectic week I’ve ever been thru for dis semester! SOE test.. EIM portfolio submission.. PELT presentation.. Literature survey presentation.. and also 21 review write-ups for Ethics and Sociology in which at dat particular time I have only managed to finish 9 of them! On Thursday, I sat in front of my laptop and started working on the remaining reviews and thank God I finally succeeded to finish `em all.. hahha But dat nite I din sleep at all, I finished everything at about 5.30am, and I took my bath, ironed my clothes and performed my Subuh prayer..and got prepared to go to class..The funny thing was, when I entered the class, I could really see how miserable my other classmates were by looking at their swollen eyes due to not sleeping last nite, just like me! ;p

It’s now study week, n I just stay here in Shah Alam.. Dis semester has come to an end and here is the list of things/ incidents that happened in dis whole semester..

• I broke up with my soul.. Wan Mohd Izharuddin =_= Someone dat I love with all my heart..
• I was involved in a road accident, with Izny..!!
• I was badly hurt by the people I love.. and I loved =_=
• I became more melodramatic……… hahah! Melodramatic fo0l ;p
• I started writing my duLL so-called blog
• For the very first time I celebrated my birthday without any present from my mama! Huhuu~
• Got insulted indirectly by fo0ls (my housemates know who dey are! especially d incident on my birthday nite!)
• Trying so hard to recover but then no improvements can be visibly seen =_=
• Falling in love so badly with nasi sup campur “Ani Sup Utara”! hahha~
• I only went back to my hometown once! During CNY……
• I became kinda nocturnal!
• Seriously in love with M&M as well….. it’s my turn-on :p

I hope for the upcoming semester, things will be better! And I will fully recover, leading a great life with such great friends surround me

The (Lame) Past March 30, 2008

 

I’ve been quite busy for this whole week and it has been a while since I last wrote something in my blog. Just now, when I was trying to sleep, I somehow had a flashback on my past… haha. You see, today I am already 20 years and 5 days, and within that period of time there were so many things, bad and good things, happened in my life.. When I had a glance on my past, I could clearly remember how sweet and joyous my childhood was.. I had so many friends, and I could still remember the very first friend that I had, Zharif Aimi.. I was only 3-4 years old when I knew her, we always spent time together and played “masak-masak” at her house.. Hahha. She’s a clever girl, she passed her PTS when we were in Standard 3 and she’s now 1 year ahead of me.. And now, she’s pursuing her study in United States doing Geoscience…

As the time passed by, I got to learn the meaning of life itself.. When I was in primary, I rarely encountered any troubles as I used to be a kind of girl who never knew the meaning of sad or distress, coz I always became the one who cheered my friends up.. And hell yeah I really had many friends! I loved to make friends with others, and guess what, when I was in primary I was quite fierce especially to the guys.. Hahha. There was time when I went mad with 2 boys because I saw them vandalising my friend’s bicycle.. (I really HAD to be fierce, I was the Headprefect though…… the worst headprefect you could ever imagine! hahha~) I came nearer to those boys and asked them why did they do that, and they just ignored me and even fought back my words .. And that really pissed me off! Guess what, I went to one of the boys and pulled his necktie before I actually scolded him! Hahha~ I really looked like a gangster at that particular time.. And I loved it when they got scared and apologized! Hahha~ Dun mess with ur headprefect uh~ (lol~ lame…)

As I grew up, there were so many other things did happen in my life.. And of course it consists of my experience of getting to know guys.. And I have met many kind of guys with various kind of attitudes and I could learn so many things through that. The MOST important thing that I learn is that, guys are very unpredictable. They could become themselves today, and tomorrow they could totally transform into a wholly and entirely new person! I mean, they could really change very fast. Okay, for example, if today they say they love you so0o0o0o much, then tomorrow they might just ignore your presence, ignore YOU. Sometimes I wonder why this happens, is it that they don’t really love you that much? Or is the phrase “I Love You” so easy to be said `til they don’t understand what does “I Love You” actually means and how it actually matters to the one they express it? Hmm~

And the second thing I learn is, MOST (yes, most, NOT ALL) guys will only work hard and put on so much efforts before they actually get the girl they want or they admire. And after they made the girl crazily and deeply fall in love with them, they won’t work as hard as they used to previously, because they think that they already OWN that girl, and why should they work hard anymore? Even though they actually love that girl, but the way they treat their girls is making the girls wonder… “DOES HE REALLY LOVE ME OR WHAT??” Duhh~ that’s what always happen to most of the girls and it somehow leads to the break up though..

The next thing is that, if you love someone, don’t love that person to your heart content, or whole-heartedly!.. You can love him/her, but don’t let the feelings take over you. Like one of my friends, Mr. Helmie said, we never know whether the person we love is fated for us or not, but we tend to regard dat person as if he/she is fated for us and we’ll end up marrying him/her.. That kind of thought will somehow lead to a total frustration and disappointment if the relationship doesn’t succeed and doesn’t run the way we want it to. And yeah, that’s true. I used to be someone who would love my partner deeply and never lessen the amount of love towards him. And whenever my relationship ended up, I would lose control and sometimes neglect others, and I would cry and cry due to my frustration. And now, I keep telling myself, if I should love anyone else after this, I won’t love dat person that much anymore. I’m not gonna be like I used to be before. And the most important thing is, I’m not gonna be a fool in love anymore, I will be one no more!

As for now, I prefer to be single. Single life rox! And one thing for sure, I need not to think about anyone else but ME…!

 

Cinta Dalam Hati… March 25, 2008

Today, 25th of March 2008 is my 20th birthday. Happy birthday to me! Hahha~ (Me and my friends have already celebrated it earlier due to our hectic schedule for this week. Last night at 12.00 am sharp, the first person who wished me birthday was Rizan (thanx for your videos and pics! heeeee~), then `In n my housemates, and surprisingly my unexpected ex, Khalid, wished me birthday at 12.00am sharp as well through my friend, `In. I’ve already lost contact with him coz I no longer use my old YM account but I didn’t expect he would remember my birthday and wished me thru my friend.. Oh ya, and thanx also to Rein, Daus, Nik, Azurie and some others who wished me last night! It was so sweet of you to remember mine

Rizan gave me 3 vids but this one is my favorite of all…… Hahha ;p

And at the moment I’m missing someone terribly… (I guess it’s okay if once in a while I express my feelings in words here in my own blog ;p) I have a special dedication to that particular person.. I hope he’ll be reading this And I really mean every single word that’s written in the lyrics of this song to him.. Enjoy the vid yarh!

Ungu - Cinta Dalam Hati

mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku
mengagumi tanpa di cintai
tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia
dalam hidupmu, dalam hidupmu

telah lama kupendam perasaan itu
menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku
tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah
bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
meski ku tunggu hingga ujung waktuku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejab saja

♥ Luv,

TheDeviantRhymester, Shakiera

 

Charity Sale! March 24, 2008

Today, our class (U2A) had successfully done a task for our Ethics subject which was Charity Sale at Dataran Cendekia (DC) in main campus and all the funds will be donated to the Rumah Anak-anak Yatim Sri Aman, Seksyen 2.

We did collect second hand items to be sold in our charity sales and there were also items for auctions.

There were also ‘apple eating’ , ‘bread eating’ and ‘hamper price guessing’ competitions being held during our Charity Sale. We even had a song dedication session which was conducted since early in the morning `til the evening. Hehe~ And shamelessly I became an unwelcomed Deejay featuring Nyonya for the second session of the song dedication.. Hahha. Sory yer Moja n Chip.. heeee~

Although it was so0 tiring, but it was really fun and the responses that we received really worth our tiredness…..

P/S : This week all of us r gonna be so0oo0 bz with lotsa tests n also assignmenx…. Oh God

 

miss nana, me n miss fana. aku tersepit dlm pelukan fana dan ciuman nana…. wakkaka

me n miss ida the hottie at the song dedication booth

Myspace? Friendster? Facebook? March 22, 2008

I’ve read those posts by Mr.Helmie, miseryluvcompany and he did attach some of the pics that he took from Myspace.. N yes, nowadays it’s so easy to browse and search for that kind of pics in any social networking sites n the most obvious one is of course Myspace, leading others like Friendster and also Facebook. I mean those inappropriate pics like Muslim drinking alcohol, Muslims kissing their partners and not forgotten all those daring pics n even daring statements telling the world that he/she is a gay/lesbian are merely put without any hesitation at all…

From my outlook, I do view all those social networking sites as having both pros and cons, and of course getting to know new friends is one of the pros that they offer other than building social networks that could benefit us in countless ways, like sharing our skills and interests, etc..etc.. and quite a number of us even met our bf/gf thru these social networking sites.. I admit that even I myself got the chance to know someone special thru Virtualfriends.net(this is another example of social networking site), and oh, okay, to be frank, I have just broke up with him but I never forget or hate this particular person and yet we are still friends, and will forever be Ok, let’s get back to the topic

Actually, I just feel that thru these kind of sites, people are actually more exposed to lots of negative influences, like I sed just now all those daring pics have become a norm among them. And yet, these sites have also become like a paradise for the flirts, and I am certainly annoyed with some messages and comments that I received thru these sites from guys asking for my phone number although that’s their very first time messaging/ commenting me! And when I view their page, it is like the whole content of their site is full of gals flirting around. I don’t really mind if the person is sincere to be my friends but somehow or rather I hardly ever find one.Seriously. Many of them just wanna flirt around and sometimes I become sick of all these social networking sites. But it’s undeniably precise that people do have their rights to do whatever they want in their space, but can you become like more civilized? I mean, how come I’m gonna give someone I don’t even know or I never chat before my phone number? This doesn’t happen only to me but also to other friends of mine as well and I have become totally sick and ill of all these. I’m not ‘perasan’ that they like me or what but I just, I dunno, I don’t favor it.

And yes, I do find lots of anonymous pages at both Myspace and Friendster in which the owners have never uploaded his/her own pics.. They only uploaded the pics that they got somewhere else, or maybe their own pics, showing some parts of the body that shouldn’t be exposed to the public, and you know what I mean. Those horny peeps are just here to offer/ gain some sort of sex service, and I dunno how they actually ‘accomplish’ it, maybe thru webcam and phonesex will do. Just now I’ve just browsed one of my friend’s Myspace and I encountered one page exactly like I described above, and there was one Muslim gurl regularly commenting on his page desperately asking that guy to show his ‘thing’ off on the page and they even kept on commenting each other about sex along the way in their conversation. Then I was in doubt on how that gurl actually looks like and I visited her page, and guess what, she did upload lots of pic of herself n surprisingly that gurl actually wears hijjab. It was like, hey, I’m no busybody with ur personal matters but if you really wanna have that kind of chat why must you make it in public? Why don’t you just YM him and do whatever you want to. This is about our dignity, our pride. You talked about so many 18SXXX and porno topics but still you have ur personal photos in ur site, even worse is that you wear tudung and baju kurung…

I’m not saying that all those social networking sites are negative nurturers, but it very much depends on how we utilize it. As for me, neither Facebook nor Friendster I do have. And as for Myspace, before this I tried to delete it but I just couldn’t coz the admin sed that they’ve already sent me an email consisting the steps to permanently delete the account but unlucky for me coz I had already cancelled the email earlier so I just couldn’t delete it. The reason for me to delete those was because I have become sick with all those unwelcomed flirts in which I don’t wish to get to know any of them. And also due to several personal matters that I don’t wish to reveal it here in public But once again it’s not that deleting them is the best way, but we somehow actually have to do something in order to just lessen the dreadful phenomenon coz I’m certain that it could never be 100% curb. Deleting them is indeed my very own personal choice and I’m not advising anyone take that drastic step like I did